Typings of a wayward hand

went back to penang. met up with some friends, one even stayed over for the weekend coz he was lazy to go home (was from UNIMAP, back for the weekend n wedding) to help me oc and blow up my pc. lol. at the wedding met up with ex classmates from school. such a joyous occasion. except for the fact that not many people recognized me. yes, gaining 10 kg in 4 years (incidentally, havent met most of them in roughly 4 years oso) is almost as good as getting a face transplant. at the wedding, the bride is/was a close friend of mine. classmates that used to stay back after school for the after class tuition. most of the other students went back for clothes change/bath/lunch. and since i lived freaking far away from the school i had to stay back. so we had some pretty deep conversations. shared our secrets, and she sorta liked me for a while. but i guess i had a fear of commitment/laziness/get bored of people pretty easily so i said i wasnt ready for a relationship. or maybe i really wasnt ready. but then, erm, lets move on. so since i had a knack for identifying problems and knowing the right questions to ask and giving the right advice when it comes to emotions/pressure/problems(i think, or i decieve myself to believe that i have an analytical nature) , i helped her alot with various problems. and basically i knew many of her secrets. and some other people too, lol. basically i kept deep secrets of at least 4 people in just 2 years (form 4 and 5, and i just moved to that school at form 4). lol. i am not the prying type, but i guess when some1 knows me at a deeper level they open up to me easily. lol. not to mention i know when and what to ask. not to mention above average memory. which makes me dangerous to have as an enemy. could be a good political debater (used to be school debater but sucked at talking for long periods. lol) anyways, she used to like me, and i knew a helluvalot of her secrets. which makes the meeting at the wedding very awkwards. i didnt know what to say to her, and neither did she. and i have a tendency of making jokes which might seem offensive and inappropriate to others. so i kept my mouth shut. from my actions she could percieve me as snubbing her or something. yeah, i think about what other peoples’ feelings about me. empathy i guess. cos at the wedding when i was with the other friends i was much louder/jovial/funny. it could seem as if i had avoided her. which i might have. not too sure. and the dude that stayed at my place (one of my best friends) was having problems with his gf (also one of my closest friends. and i introduced them to each other). so basically i became the proxy and relationship counsellor for them. of course, 2 days isnt enough to patch up a relationship. and not when both parties are playing the blame game and not actually understanding what the other is thinking. if there is one thing that i know about being in a relationship (from my extremely limited experience, so yeah, u can say whatever u want about me and my relative inexperience), there has to be a bloody compromise. basically both of them had higher expectations of each other that werent fulfilled. so hurtful words were being thrown around, with some of the most hurtful ones being thrown by me (i have a low tolerance for stubborn people, and both of them were stubborn). lol. so my last advice was "if its too much trouble, it isnt worth it". the only thing where the opposite applies is in some business venture (if ur lucky) or in some game. and yeah, compromise. idiots these days dont know how to compromise. bloody idiots. and many malaysians in general are like that. here goes my "society in malaysia is dying" rant. every1 nowadays are selfish. courtesy and manners are at an all time low. ignorance, selfishness and just plain uselessness prevails. whiners are everywhere. (what? why r u looking at me?) all they do is complain and do nothing. but at least the people in penang are generally nicer than in kl. pay the toll, buy some food or groceries, buy some petrol, and u get a thank you. in kl that happens once in about every 1000 encounters. and there is more racial harmony in penang. in kl i can feel the racial tension at some places. ok, about the whining and complaining, last night was a good example. my sister’s housemate (technically my housemate) was sick (stomach sickness, turned out to be bacterial infection) and i was bloody tired. drove around in the rain and walked around the whole day, and the previous day drove 450km from penang-kl-shah alam-damansara on three hours of sleep. so naturally i was bloody fucking tired. but she asked me to drive them to the clinic. so i did out of good will. not for my bloody sis, for her friend. went to clinic, the doctor told us to go to the nearest hospital, since it could be appendicitis. and the nearest i knew was sungai buloh. my sis didnt know the way. but the car (her friend’s car) was almost out of petrol so i suggested filling up at a petrol station on the way. there were 3, but i wasnt sure if they were 24hours. and to go to a petrol station that we were used to would be detracting from the route (not on the way). and so we stopped at a petrol station which was on the way. which turned out to be closed (was 11pm). and then my sister proceded to complain. hell, if she didnt want to bear the responsibility of taking her friend to the hospital (she also didnt know the way) then at least have respect towards the person who is driving and navigating. besides, it isnt my fault the petrol station was closed. the last thing anyone (with a level head) would want in that situation is an argument. and i told her that. but she didnt listen. so i told her that she is being bloody immature (she is, for a 24 year old) and she started talking about me not working yet. and she neglected to remember the fact that she was bumming around for 6 months after graduation while i was only free for around a month (went to brunei, indon, helped settle some stuff with the new rented house). so yes, i guess her complaining and bossy trait was from our mom. stupids bitches. and yes, if any of you had been through what i’ve been put through by them (mom, mostly), u would have called them the same. and yes, i am angry. not verbally loud angry. i rarely reach that level. and if i do then the victim of the verbal assault would be put through a helluvalot of emotional and maybe physical pain (incidentally, the last time that happened was when my mom lied to my aunt and uncle about me regarding the cancellation of the agriculture plan they had for me. and that is fucking slander. i could sue. but i didnt. i just gave her a piece of my mind. and since my mind is so vast, the piece i gave her wasnt small). i used to be a calm tolerating person. but in the past year i’ve become more angry. and it isnt my fault. some people just dont have respect for others. and my sis and mom doesnt really respect me. i hope that this is one of the last blog posts that are in this type of tone. because i prefer being content and calm. and now i am calm but with pent up resent and aggression. which isnt my natural self and i dont really like it. bloody fucks. about the class gathering, i sent one of them back to USM transkerian (seberang perai). female. so i was talking about relationships with my problematic friend while the reason my heart was actually broken for the only time was in the back seat. and she didnt know it. of course, i used to be good at hiding my feelings and emotions. used to be very emotionally detached. still am, actually, except for anger. other emotions are still detached. so yeah, i was burnt once, and i sorta have a phobia of being in a relationship. or maybe i’m too lazy to put myself through all of that trouble again. lol. or maybe i havent found ‘the right person’. whatever that is.

at cc now. on the morning of birthday. lol. at 4.41am. waiting for friend’s parents to wake up before sending him back. then go back home and sleep. going to spent the rest of my birthday sleeping. so far on my birthday i’ve had a few firsts. i drove 300km nonstop for the 1st time. well i stopped once. stopped by the police in a roadblock. also for the 1st time. lol. nothing much, asked to look at IC and license. and also witness yet another bus accident. nowadays bus accidents happen every 2 days. lol. the bus i saw was a consortium bus. guessing its a kl-penang bus. yesterday was supposed to be my convo. but didnt go. petrol+toll not worth it if driving alone. planning on meeting up with old friends in penang, so if any of u guys are free gimme a call or text. 0173783161. friday friend’s wedding. sunday going back to kl. huargh. head… spinning…. hopefully i can reach my home. lol. but sometimes when driving while sleepy my "autopilot" doesnt do too badly. lol.

it would have to be something that has max (or 90% of its max) torque at 2k rpm, idles at 100-300rpm, has max hp at 4k rpm and has a fuel consumption of 40-70mpg (miles per gallon). oh, wait, isnt that a diesel car? lol. an aerodynamic coefficient of less than 0.29 and weighs less than 1200kg. has a boot space of 500++litres.

and yes, diesel cars ARE better than petrol. modern diesel engines produce less CO2 emissions, use less fuel, have better reliability, has better acceleration (and torque and hp) compared with a similiarly displaced petrol car and is basically better than a petrol. the fact that half of all of the cars sold in the UK (the world’s 3rd largest automotive market) are diesels proves that. we dont actually need petrol cars. most of us never rev our engines higher than 4k rpm (waste of fuel), so max hp at 4k rpm is ideal. and since diesels have more torque, the acceleration is better. a petrol car driver in a similiarly displaced car would have to redline it in order to get the amount of acceleration that a diesel car has. but that would further increase fuel consumption. small and midsized diesel cars average 50mpg. similiarly sized petrols average 30mpg. and that isnt counting performance oriented cars. which would do much less than 25mpg. so what is my point? reduce diesel roadtax for sub-2l cars and import more diesels. and help save the world.